Two Fathers

A Reflection on Father’s Day and the Role of Government

Today is Father’s Day here in the United States — a moment to honor the men who raise, teach, and guide us. But it’s also an opportunity to reflect more broadly on what it means to lead, to care, and to nurture growth.

I want to offer a contrast between two very different kinds of fathers.

The first is a father who restricts. He tells his children what not to do. He lays down rules without explanation, limits their choices, and scolds them when they misstep. His love might be present, but it’s conditional and often cloaked in fear or shame. His children may obey, but they do so out of compliance, not understanding.

The second is a father who teaches. He explains why things are the way they are. He gives his children the freedom to make their own choices — and when they stumble, he’s there to help them learn from the experience. His love is steady and patient. Mistakes aren’t punished; they’re seen as necessary steps in the process of becoming wiser, stronger, more independent.

Now, imagine applying that contrast to something bigger: our country.

What kind of “father” is the United States?

Of course, this analogy isn’t perfect — a nation isn’t a parent, and citizens aren’t children. But the metaphor is still useful, especially when we consider how government functions in our daily lives. There are times when our policies, laws, and leadership resemble that first kind of father: controlling, punitive, suspicious of freedom. And there are times when we move toward the second: empowering, supportive, invested in helping people thrive, not just obey.

Some may bristle at the idea of thinking about a country in personal or familial terms. For many, government feels like an impersonal machine — bureaucratic, distant, and slow. But in a democracy like ours, that perception misses the point. Our system of government begins with three simple words: We the People.

We are not separate from the government — we are the government. Every law, every regulation, every program is a reflection of what we choose to value as a society. It’s how we decide to live together, to take care of each other, and to chart a path forward.

So on this Father’s Day, as we think about what it means to guide, support, and lead — let’s also ask what kind of country we want to be. Do we want a government that limits out of fear? Or one that empowers out of trust and compassion?

As with parenting, the answer will shape not just who we are today — but who we become tomorrow.